1. What’s the deal with the name MaximumTacolord?
2. Can I have your baby, you sex mechine?
3. You totally suck, go kill yourself….
4. Where are you located?
5. Can I join Team Dash or Just Plan Nuts?
6. Why do you say the BubBle Gum Fairies are so strong, I killed one the other day?
7. I have a link/banner I want you to show off on the site!
8. Are you insane?
9. I have an idea for your site, will you use it?
10. Can I be the Lady of the Taco?
11. I have a cool boxer pic for you!
12. I have a cool Belly Button horror story for you!
13. Mind if I steal your stuff?
14. Dude I slept with your mom, now I have this horrible itch, wtf is it?
15. Why does your style of drawing change so much?
16. Are you a Communist?
17. Nice blog!
18. Is it true you and Lindsay Lohan are dating?
1. What’s the deal with the name MaximumTacolord?
Let us start at the beginning. The universe is created from a single material component (material monism) called a “taco.” Everything is created from tacos, even pandas and fire. You may wonder, how is there so much in the world if everything is a taco? Well, the shell is filled with all sorts of fixings. Beef, lettuce, baby, tomatoes, etc. There are varied shells as well. These components combine to create “tacos.” Everything in the universe is also moving, some tacos vibrate and move at different speeds than others, causing changes in the taco, collusions with other tacos and thus the creation of new tacos. So, your computer is actually a taco. As is your keyboard, face, body, and cat. Everything is built of tacos and forever will be.
Now this leads me to my name, “MaximumTacolord.” I’m the lord of the tacos. Or the lord of materials. This is the Maxim I must live by to reach the height of tacodom. I am also the greatest of “Tacolords,” so you see the name has a double meaning. Lord over myself and greatest ruler of all time! Feel free to attempt the path of the “tacolord.” Make sure you bring a clean pair of tacos, you”ll need them for when you taco yourself in your tacos.
2. Can I have your baby, you sex mechine?
Well, I’m a male and therefore I require a female to carry the baby and receive the injection to create it. Receiving the injection is a difficult but enjoyable process, I’d advise reconsidering before actually having said sex child. Getting knocked up is a lot of responsibility. Also stretch-out before giving birth, it prevents pulled muscles and ripped genitals.
3. You totally suck, go kill yourself…
This isn’t in the form of a question, but I will not kill myself.
Life may be absurd, but have you even considered the afterlife? By Erana, imagine a world more ridiculous than this one? If that doesn’t make you want to live forever, I don’t know what will.
4. Where are you located?
I’m not sure anymore. I’ve been locked in this basement for so long, that I’ve forgotten what the outside looks like.
5. Can I join Team Dash or Just Plan Nuts?
No.
6. Why do you claim the BubBle Gum Fairies have absolute strength, I killed one the other day?
You are mistaken sir or ma’am. This is actually a very common mistake. You got really drunk when viewing my site, then killed a bum. You really shouldn’t view my site under the influence of any sort of chemical.
7. Hey, I have a link/banner I want you to show off on the site!
I have a better idea. Take that banner or link and give it out to random people on the street as a bookmark for mini-bibles or communist literature, it’ll probably have more of an impact that way.
8. Are you insane?
Probably.
9. I have an idea for your site, will you use it?
Depends if it’s a cool idea, of course there is all that legal raze jazz so I probably won’t use your idea if I don’t know you personally. I’d rather you not sue my ass off. For I hardly have enough ass for myself to shake the way it is. So, I ask you don’t send ideas until you get to know me first. I really don’t want to create a project, finish it, and then have some guy send me an idea like it and try to take credit for it. You’ll understand someday porno industry, I invented gay porn! You bastards just happened to release some gay porn at the same time.
However, I am open to joint projects if you’re a person of considerable talent or a hot chick with large breasts.
10. Can I be the Lady of the Taco?
To be honest, I doubt it. I mean hell, you’d wear that while browsing the web? I said thong, damn it, THONG! What are you thinking!? Geeze, maybe I can set you up with Jimmy or something. But if you’re hell bent on it and really want to squeeze my butt with both hands, you could try seducing me while wearing a cat-girl outfit. That generally works when women want to steal my kidneys, I’ve already lost 4 that way.
You could also dress up like Jin Kazama and challenge me to Tekken in your hotel room and lure me there with caffeine drinks.
*Warning* Actually have a PS2, Tekken 5 disc with two controllers, and caffeine. The last chick just tried to have sex with me and I really wanted to play Tekken at the time. I was helluva pissed and things that weren’t pants went flying!
Also, you can send an application from the Lady of the Taco site. Just burn it so the pixies can fan it to me. Who knows when I’ll get it to it though, I’m pretty lazy.
11. I have a cool Boxer picture for you underware site!
I’ve learned my lesson from tubgirl. I only accept boxer pictures in person now. And even then, only from attractive women.
12. I have a cool belly button horror story for you!
I’ve yet to hear one that was remotely entertaining, maybe you should consider keeping it. Even my stories aren’t that great.
13. Mind if I steal your stuff?
Don’t you realize stealing is WRONG! Dude, what’s the matter with you? Get some morals or something. I can’t believe you want to rob me. Just give back the VCR and JPG and walk away. Because robbers suck.
14. Brah, I slept with your mom, now I have this horrible itch, what is it?
That is an interesting question. You see, I have no mother, I was actually born from a rock that housed tacos after it was struck by lightning. You must have slept with some sort of putrid, mutant zombie, maybe my ex-girlfriend. I can’t tell for sure at the moment. I’d suggest you stop doing drugs/drinking because this kind of stuff will kill you, but you probably already have the AIDS. So you might as well keep doing it because you’re going to die anyway. And soon. And painfully. Very painfully. Damn is it going to hurt.
Unless you are referring to my adoptive Ninja mother. Which is unlikely, because she’d sooner kill all of Texas before cheating on my adoptive Ninja Daddy. Unless she already did, it’s hard to tell who is under that mask. Regardless, DON’T BE TALKIN’ ABOUT MY MOMMA!
15. Why does your drawing style change so much?
I don’t really have a set style. Graphically I consider myself a pretty weak artist since I’ve had so little practice or training in it. Though I’ve really enjoyed what I’ve done and think I’ve improved considerably. Often I do “tributes” to other styles I like as well. Which is a great joy in not really keeping your own style, you can borrow others. Here are some artists I’ve attempted to Mimic:
Krinkels’ Madness Series
Brad Borne’s (DrNeroCF) and Geier Arnold’s (-API-) Fancy pants
Adventures
Tomas and Alan Guinan’s Eskimo Bob
SamBakZa’s “There she Is”
Aquateen Hunger Force
Hi Hi Puffy AmiYumi Show
Legendary Frog
Jhonen Vasquez’s Invader Zim
Bryan Lee’s Scott Pilgrim
Nope. As a philosopher, I’m very interested in the theory but feel it needs revising. Also, the US communist party isn’t ready to be communists yet. Let alone lead a workers revolt. They can’t seem to lead a campaign, how do they expect to destroy capitalism? Besides, the proletariat suck and I look forward to oppressing them every morning when I get out of bed.
Come on, I’d consider this site to be far more than a blog! Blogs are so limited, just a guy typing about his day!
18. Is it true you and Lindsay
Lohan are dating?
Why do people keep asking me this? What the hell, shouldn’t people be asking Lohan if she’s dating me? Isn’t that a more absurd notion?
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