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The Scary Song Lady is probably the worst demon ever; you may know her as Vanessa Carlton. I found out about her demon ways while watching VH1 Insomniac theatre. Her music video for "A Thousand Miles" began to play and it scared the poopie out of me. She keeps gazing into the camera following my every move. So I waited 20 minutes for VH1 to play the video again, like it does with all the over played hits and watched closer and what I found was horrifying.


Frame # 85: The Music Video opens to a shadowy figure walking out of some sort of gateway to a demon world. The camera seems to have a large sheet in front of it, what is under the sheet? An army of hobgoblins carrying unicorn horn daggers? Is the sheet itself some douchebag ghost who gets off watching pop star demons shower?

Frame #257: She pulls off the sheet to reveal some sort of medieval musical instrument known as a piano. If music can soothe the beast what does it do to the demon? I shutter to think.

Frame #Johnny 5 is alive: To everyone's dismay, the piano begins to fly like a magic carpet, only not so high. The first victim we see is a small baby in the background. So young, so innocent and pure, which is why it makes such a great sacrificial lamb!

Then the true horror begins, the scene switches to the hands! THE HANDS! Whenever this happens the Scary Song Lady is transforming into a demon and the camera turns to the hands to hid the carnage that follows. This time she is taking herself and the baby to a special quiet spot, or so she thought!

	Ancient Arcane Symbol

Frame #Forgot to Check: We are taken to a sacrificial pit (you can tell by the ancient arcane symbols) where a small group of soldiers have appeared to try and save the baby, armed with 99 red and pink balloons, they attack the pit! The Scary Song Lady seems to be very calm, as if she doesn't even notice their presence, what could she be plotting?

Frame #1148: Suddenly, I realize what she's doing. She's mocking us, no me. Daring me to stop her. By showing us the pointless efforts of all the brave young men and women fighting in the background, retaliation attacks become less likely. How can such a sick joke prove so tactically sound?

Frame #2834: An editing mistake, but not in my favor. They show the hand cut scene as she transforms and attacks the soldiers, but afterwards they show the street peaceful. Maybe she's just trying to build up our hopes, just so she can smash them down again.

Frame #1173: They're gone, all gone! How could she kill them all?! I can't believe they all died in under 40 frames! WHAT KIND OF MONSTER IS SHE? The only evidence we have left is the for sale sign she left behind and the ashen remains of the pit hidden in the shadows. I guess even evil demons need to make money. But why did they show the death scene before the murder? Not even I know.

Frame #1443: A man is jumping on a trampoline in the background, minding his own business and having a good time, but little does he know what's about to happen...

Frame #1456: The man is gone, where did he go? Did he jump really high, naïve wishful thinking, everything this monster does is hideous plot device. Her familiar grabbed the man in its talons and carried him away, don't worry the familiar will make a second appearance. Only the man won't appear until the familiar is ready to poop. By then, it'll be too late for CPR to do any good.

Frame #It hurts too much:  NOO THE FOOLS! What are they doing! The bikers in the background are the Satan's Pink Butt Spankers Biker Squadron. But why are they trying to attack the Scary Song Lady? Don't they know she can't be stopped by conventional motorcraft?!?! RUN AWAY BEFORE SHE TRANSFORMS!!!!!!

Frame #O who cares anymore: No their hub caps... what's going on! Not the aftermath again! NOOO, IT CAN'T BE! They couldn't have all died! It's not possible! My dramatic caps lock denial should stop her!

The scene scrolls to show that the bikers weren't the only ones, but many people have been consumed as well, the bikers I understand, but why did she take out all the other drivers as well? They should have known better than to attack such a demon! NO, I won't give up hope! They still have a chance, I know they can make it! I trained them via instructional video myself!

The scene goes back to the road, the camera is zoomed in on her as she begins to mock me once again.

NOO! WHY ARE THEY STILL CHASING HER! YOU IDIOTS GET OUT OF THERE! Don't they realize she's letting them catch up!

No... she transformed... How could she? Its not fair... they, they never stood a chance. They weren't ready for such a strong demon. How could she? I couldn't take it I fell to the floor vomiting upon seeing this, strong men also cry, strong men. I didn't cry of course, because I'm better than that. Real men cry with their vomit.

She's back on the road again, hasn't she done enough yet!?! What else could she be plotting?

The Cross Country team! No! She can't be doing this! They didn't do anything! THEY DIDN'T DO ANYTHING!

Again she mocks me, she knows I know. That cocky look, it burns forever in my soul organ, my gut.

Noo... that bitch.

Frame #2475: Again she mocks me. By the way, why are the evil people so attractive? You'd think more ugly dudes would get in on the super villain racket. This time she isn't alone, her familiar makes an appearance. An owl, her evil servant, damn you spotted owl!

Frame #2575: Survivors? The pack leaders or people really far beyond, it is difficult to tell. Now I have to live through it all over again, hasn't she grown bored of her own mayhem yet?

Frame #2650: The familiar makes another appearance, by this time I'm becoming numb. Nothing really makes sense anymore.

Frame #2688: It ends... they are all gone.

Frame #2757: The widow look, like I care, as if she could do anything else. I don't see how it could get any worse.

Frame #2862: You can't be serious. That is a whole city in there! Millions of people! You can't! There is no way! But her minions sit there waiting for the summoning.

Frame #3004: You know what, now you’re just being a jerk. Cut it out.

Frame #3183: This is why you've been mocking me! Just to show off the green dragon, Mokushiroku, you had to kill all these people to summon it! How could I be such a fool! But he isn't fully summoned yet, no the city. You monster!

The ritual dance of the summoning. So it is true. We already know what happens next...

Frame #3570: She perpares the spell...

Frame #3636 The true number of the dancers is shown, even more dancers than I thought possible, but why? Don't they know they're throwing their lives away?

Frame #3673: and away they go.

Frame #3724: Then we see something even more horrible, her army is coming from the sea. After a long sleep they hide themselves away as horses. So many horses, how didn't we know? I bet it was all those chicks that are into horses. If only we listened to the glue industry!

Frame #4099: She just doesn't know when to quit. I'll get back at you somehow Mrs. Carlton! Or Ms. I can never remember how to tell those things apart. I'll pay you twice over in the pain you caused me!

Her true powers begin to show as she pushes the sunlight away from the city causing it to plunge into darkness.

The people can only stop in their cars to watch as the sun disappears from their life, soon their life will go with it.

The police chase after her, in a desperate attempt to stop her, but even they know it's too late.

Still some don't know about the pain she is about to inflict upon the fair city. What's worse is she still mocks me all the while and uses this as a chance to show off her pets, her golem stands in the background waiting to be given an order.

The city... A place where people work, live, play and...

Die

The demon returns to the gateway, the family is in the background again, without their baby of course.

She returns home, but this isn't over, not by a long shot. She forgot to put the sheet back on and close the garage door. Fool! Now the counterattack can begin!